Illegitimate Reasons to Leave a Church

A couple of weeks ago I posted five viable reasons someone could leave a church. I noted that I would soon post illegitimate reasons to leave a church (and there are many). I will post a few of them here:

1) A church is not perfect or it does not meet all legitimate needs. No person, no organization, and no institution is perfect. Every church has problems and shortcomings. And if you decide to leave a church because they are not perfect, you are just further proving that we live in an imperfect, sinful world.
2) The church you are at doesn't have a ministry that you need. Maybe God wants you to minister to your church instead of them ministering to you. Rather than complaining about the church and leaving, approach the leaders in a respectful way and work with them to further develop the ministry.
3) The one that gets me the most - Leaving a church to get away from problems. The Bible describes the church as a body and a family. When was the last time your legs didn't cooperate with you like you wanted so you parted ways with them? When you and your mother disagreed last, was that the end of the relationship? Or did you both try and work things out for the better? Deal with the problems like Christian adults and through the situation rely on the grace of God. Running away will derail the very process God uses to conform us into the image of Christ.
4) You are being challenged about your doctrine or pattern of life and church becomes uncomfortable. We should not run because we feel threatened by someone challenging us. Be ready to listen, examine, and act if necessary. Going through this process is the only way to grow.

To summarize: The only true valid reason for leaving a local church is a desire for more effective ministry in and for the body of Christ. Stay in your church, please. Make it better. Serve. Love like Jesus loved the Church. What would your life be like if Jesus would have left the Church when things got hard and when He faced challenges? Think about it.

Reasons to Leave a Church

1) A church begins to compromise the biblical essentials (e.g., Jesus is God and came to provide us salvation, there is one God).
2) When differences in belief or practice become so serious that cooperation in ministry is seriously hindered.
3) When legitimate needs are not being met.
4) When the leadership becomes abusive, serving themselves at the expense of the members, or tolerating sin that should have been dealt with.
5) Leaving to serve in another church so that the gospel can flourish.

In every situation, the decision to leave should always be done carefully, prayerfully, and in communication with the church leaders to see if the issues can be worked out. People should never just disappear from a church unless they are being spiritually abused causing any form of communication to be dangerous.

In summary, Christians need to be committed to the church.

(There are many illegitimate reasons to leave a church - I will post those soon.)

Conflict is the Price of Growth

When a church grows, it changes, and that change causes conflict.

The sad thing is, many times when a church begins to face this inevitable conflict they take a collective step backwards and in order to not deal with the conflict they refuse progress in their mission to grow, disciple, and reach the lost.

Conflict is not always a bad thing in a church. Conflict, if handled in love and humility according the principles laid out in Scripture, should be the recipe for a more mature church that is more unified than ever. The churches that refuse to deal with conflict shifts their worshiping from Christ to comfort even if they might not admit to it.

In Vintage Church by Mark Driscoll and Gerry Breshears, they discuss eight different forms of conflict in which a person or a group of people want something that they perceive they lost due to change.

1) Power - Change requires some people to lose power (e.g., job title, prominence, proximity to the top leaders, the right to make key decisions) when responsibilities must be divided. These people often forget that Jesus took on the lowly title of "servant" for Himself as our model of humility, and rather than acting like power-hungry heathens we should strive to act more like our God.
2) Compensation - Change requires that compensation such as salaries and benefits be reallocated to other priorities. Money motivates too many people, and when their pay does not meet their expectations, conflict occurs.
3) Preference - Change requires that long-standing leaders be reassigned in roles and responsibilities so that new leaders can be raised up.
4) Information - Change requires that new people have access to certain information, which means that some people will feel out of the "information loop". While it is important to make sure the appropriate people are appropriately informed, those who are driven by information will fight to be "in the know" and thus, conflict.
5) Visibility - Change requires that new people become more prominently visible, while others who use to be prominently visible become less so. Sadly, by causing conflict over their loss of visibility, such people often forget that Jesus is still watching their behavior and is quite disappointed.
6) Energy - Change requires more physical, emotional, and spiritual energy than might have been needed in prior stages of ministry. As the pace picks up, the leaders need to be fully capable of taking on the load. If they are not capable, they should quickly be replaced. The replaced often complain about things changing too fast and rather than humbly accept their limits and find a place to serve that best suits their energy levels they cause conflict.
7) Expedient Pace - Change requires that decisions be made at an expedient pace so the church can mature and grow. Some people value their ability to control the pace of the church decision making because it is a form of power and rule.
8) Control - Church change results in less control over everything! The church is like a river that can be channeled and influenced for progress and power. However, every attempt to control a church kills either the church or the person seeking to control the church.

In summary, for a church to grow it must accept the pain that accompanies change. Because we want more people to have a relationship with God and worship Him we must be willing to accept the inevitable conflict that change brings.

Which of the eight forms of conflict have you seen active in a church? Was it handled properly?